this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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