She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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