god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
