One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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