I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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