Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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