How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
