I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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