Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
