Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
