Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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