i jhust puked up my retainher.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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