Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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