sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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