SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
