Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
