Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
