I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
