I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
