Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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