mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
