he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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