We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
