we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
so much tequila, so little girl.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
