eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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