He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
