I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
