But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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