please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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