Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he puts the penis in happiness.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
