dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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