YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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