Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
