I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude i'm inner monologue high
Welp...herpes.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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