he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
