Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
