Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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