It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
