I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
