Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
