Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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