So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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