ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
