im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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