she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
