The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
