If i come over, it means nothing
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize