youre lurking in front of me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
