Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
being pregnant is like rehab
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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