I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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