My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
