Cold hands, warm shart.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
