Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
