She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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