Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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