I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I currently don't understand fingers.
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