dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
