never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
