It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
