I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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