oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize